Don't you send me to vm
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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