people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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