he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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