Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
