Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
