I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
