I accidentally had phone sex last night
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
