in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
