No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
