She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
