I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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