Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
