My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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