Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
