In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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