Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
