Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
