So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
