Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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