that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Enjoy the penises
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
