Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
