YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
