i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
