My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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