Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
