so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
