need another drink. this is the easiest way
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
