i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
