When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
