yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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