so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize