idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
