Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
