I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize