i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
