C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
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