Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Randomize
