I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
