Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize