I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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