i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
