I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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