he wants to bone in the snuggie
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
im six kinds of drunk right now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So squirting runs in the family.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Randomize
