i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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