Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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