Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
