Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Even my vagina gasped.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
