I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
