lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
