He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
