don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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