i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
