the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
