Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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