I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
