I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
