I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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