What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
