So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
