12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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