You're so nebulous sometimes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
