Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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