i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I am available for nakedness
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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